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Amidst the weirdest excuses one can give himself , melancholy is the lamest one.... 
The life as I know it, is not the one where utopian ideas, reign supreme, but rather something where practicality leads to a conscious utopia. Friends and family are always there, they are comforting but in the end the journey happens alone, the consequences are faced by just one, the glory is seldom shared. 
Friendship is the essence of life and I know and believe that it is perhaps one the best gifts life gives to its performers , but then again the performance comes at a price. The definitions of friendship is rather vague, the extremities and generalization of such a definition can be misleading at times however , hope burns bright in the human breast. 


I have made a thousand promises, I have kept many, but that might never be enough. Every person you trust and love are subjective, every man and woman who care for you are also subjective and relative, so what is the whole point. What is absolute. It's at its truest when they say, fact is stranger than fiction..... 


A 20 year old boy, can wish for a lot, some might feel women are the essence of life , for some it's party, some might want money, others want success, an outrageous friend even feels Sex is the most important aspect of a 20 year old, but the fact remains that we are lost in the quest of that personal utopia, an oasis in the deep corners of our lonely mind, where we find satisfaction. 


The technicalities can be overwhelming, for instance, a best friend is is not the best person to accompany, the best girl you might not be the best beau, then who is , do we really know. 


I have been hurt the most, by the people I love the most, the people I dislike, barely manage to brush my emotions, yet I continue to like and dislike , random people I see, meet and hang out with. I have opinions about each person, revolving around them, as if it was their attire, yet I keep most of it to myself. 
Do they really understand me, do they really know, that it hurts me at times, guess they don’t, yet I call them “FRIEND”. Why should I, I question myself and the answer goes, because you can’t live lonely, but isn’t that pretense, then why do we pretend, why should we, I guess the answer would be that in a world of good and bad, we befriend the better, again generalizing the idea of ‘Comparative”. 


So then the next obvious question from anyone who reads this, because he/she has nothing better to do, is so are we in love with our parents, because we didn’t have a choice, are we in love with our family because, I have no alternative. That would make our love look , so much weak, so little, so petty. 


What I am getting at, why am I even trying to belittle the immensely strong emotions I have for some people in this world. The fact is I am not trying to belittle, but when I think of it, I realize the immensely powerful sense of accommodation that the human mind has. The immensely weird way to compromise and yet be happy, because that’s the eventuality of love, happiness, feel good factor, dopamine if you like it hormonal or sometimes the BIG O. 


So we want to be happy, happiness is something that comes to us naturally, amidst all the disagreements, falsifications from life, betrayal from friends and loss of near ones. We are happy because we love, we are happy because we love not the best, but what we believe to be the best. Doesn’t that make us complacent, doesn’t that stop us from searching for more and more and more. What about ambition, what about success, what about position, well yes they are all there and best thing is , they all curb around and eventually work in your favour to become happy. 


This weird idea, was derived when I saw an worried mother taking her daughter for the boards. She said,” Bhalo Kore Dish”, and the girl nodded, yet I knew, how the two “Bhalos” differed,, how the perception of boards was different for both of them and though eventually a 90% would make both happy, their happiness would be for solely different reasons. 


So if the eventual deduction is that we all want to be happy, then why do I crib so much, why complain, because relatively I feel It’s complicated- 
“TELL me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream ! — For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem. Life is real ! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal ; Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul.” 


I have been belittled by some, I have been rendered foolish by many, I have been written off and I have been questioned, my ability, virtue and essence have been doubted, yet I believe that I can and even more that I will. Not because I feel that way, but because I know it….because I want to be happy and its genetically ingrained in all of us to start "The Pursuit Of Happiness...."